If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
