i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
