you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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