Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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