I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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