i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
