A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
