You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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