Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
