you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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