my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
