If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she peed on how many people?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
