An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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