bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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