$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
