There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
