oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
