I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
