i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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