using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
