id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
