he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
