She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
