if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize