You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
