No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
...so i touched it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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