I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
