if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
