If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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