that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
