Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
