Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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