Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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