I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just found puke in my bra..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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