u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
