Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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