if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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