Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well you can't waste a boner
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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