she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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