Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize