Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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