Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize