So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
