i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize