I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
operation have a gay friend backfired
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
