you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
