Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize