so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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