If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
