Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize