xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
