they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i've created a new STD.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
