is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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