I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
