i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
