Im at strip club and am horny
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
