some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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