White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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