I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
