were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
