The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
