there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
