how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
